What About Us ?
by WishfulThinkin21
Summary: Jack had never loved Alonso, his heart would always belong to a dead man. Alonso's POV. Totally Janto.


**A.N:** Probably you've heard this from alot of JB fans and even feel it yourself but seeing John Barrowman for the first time in Empty Child literally changed my life. He is a great actor with a beautiful voice, he can dance and ice skate, he hosts shows, there is really no way of messing with his perfection. So this is for John/Scott and Jack/Ianto. And of course a little bit of Alonso :D

**Disclaimer:** Needless to say, If I owned Torchwood Owen would have realized his feelings and Ianto would still be alive.

* * *

**What About Us ?**

_Guess we've been talking too long_

_We know what we need_

_Separately_

He remembers the first time he met Jack. In a bar far so far away from his home, couple of months after the tragedy of Titanic. He had come like a sad miracle to his life. A wreck of life, waiting there, so desperately wanting to die. Maybe he is like those women, desperately waiting to find a broken man to fix. He doesn't know. He remembers their first night, Jack confessing that he is actually immortal after their love making.

''I'm not psychic. The Doctor told me your name. I can imagine the smile on his face when he met you. Allons-y Alonso! That was something he always wanted to say.''

"I figured."

He had just smiled, completely understanding what the Doctor had meant to him. He didn't push, he just hold Jack through the night, tried to make the man feel a little bit more comfortable.

_You say the honeymoon's over_

_I don't wanna push_

_But what about us?_

He seemed happy at first, almost like nothing happened before. But obviously he was just pretending. Considering his career as a con-man it was no surprise for Alonso. He should have understood. Maybe he was too naïve and blind or he had just wanted to pretend to be happy.

_It's ringing in my head_

_It's not what you say_

_It's what you haven't said_

He mutters in his sleep, even though he never talks about his past now. Every night, same nightmare over and over again. He screams his name, that man Alonso will never meet, that man so long gone. Jack is mourning for a man who would never come back, he is still so deeply in love. And he realizes he will always be.

_So What about us?_

_What about love?_

_What about saying_

_That we'll never give up?_

It had taken Jack almost five years to open up to him. He knows those years were no lame, being with Jack was worth it. But knowing that he would never belong to him hurt too much to talk about. Jack had promised, one day he would get over it, like so many deaths he ha seen this also would mean nothing. Alonso is so sure that Jack would always remember, even if he didn't want to.

_Don't wanna blame ya,_

_We're in danger_

_So what about us?_

Because Ianto was the real one, Ianto was his soul mate, Ianto was everything, not Alonso, not the midshipman. I didn't matter how much he adored Jack. They didn't belong together , they weren't compatible.

_Guess we've been trying too hard_

_We misunderstood_

_What's good for us_

They'd thought they would be each others cure after traumatic experiences. After so many blood sheds and cries. They would find a way to make each other OK. Just to find some happiness even for a moment or two.

_I'm tired emotionally inside_

_Night after night,_

_We fight till we cry_

He didn't want to do this anymore, in the end it only hurt them more. Those happy moments would turn into guilt and betrayal. And they would shout and cry in each others arms. It just hurt too dam much.

_I don't know what's wrong or right_

_Is every word you say_

_What's really on your mind?_

He never would have talked at nights and they wouldn't see each other in days. They didn't hare their thoughts and feelings any more. They weren't a couple.

_So what about us?_

_What about love?_

_What about saying_

_That we'll never give up?_

Who was he kidding ? Jack had never loved him. He may had a crush on him once, but he had never had true feelings. To think about it, neither did Alonso.

_Don't wanna blame ya_

_We're in danger_

_So what about us?_

He loved Ianto.

_When we love,we lie_

Theirs was just a game to ease their guilt.

_When we talk,we hide_

A game obviously didn't work anymore.

_Maybe I'm searching blind_

_I'm worn out,_

_Confused_

He hated to face the truth. But he had to. For one last time he had to be the brave one for them.

_What are we to you?_

_What are we doin'?_

_What are we doin'?_

He loved Ianto not him. He would always love a dead man.

_What about us?_

_What about love?_

Their love was just a lie. A lie they would say to each other before they went to sleep.

_What about saying_

_That we'll never give up?_

He didn't belong here, at his side.

_Don't wanna blame ya_

_But we're in danger_

They had no future.

_So what about us?_

_What about love?_

He started to pack his bag, slowly and yet so sure.

_That's the one thing we never discuss_

_Don't wanna blame ya_

_But we're in danger_

He took a pen out of the desk. Just to write one last note for his ex lover to find when he came back, then he walked away closing the door. And he didn't look back.

_What about us_

_Goodbye Jack…_

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I know it's short...


End file.
